Educational situations, in the context of the family as well as in the context of the school, can be conceived in terms of power relations. Often the focus of interest is the outcome of the educator's involvement with the child. Though in general the instrumental way of thinking, in which a certain state of human well-being is an end to be reached, has been criticised, it seems to be presupposed by parents who express that what they want is that their children are happy. This may either refer to well-being later in life or to the earlier period of childhood itself. The article questions the assumptions that lie behind both narratives of happiness. By using examples from literature it is made clear that much more than control, the person of the educator him or herself and what they stand for is at stake. Thus the concept of integrity and what this amounts to in the context of child-rearing are highlighted.